


The Vessel

by idgit_with_a_fidget



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, POV First Person, Vessel Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 17:16:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/664472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idgit_with_a_fidget/pseuds/idgit_with_a_fidget
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is not what was prayed for...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Vessel

I watch from the furthermost corner of my own mind, a cage now, and listen through ears I cannot claim to be mine anymore. 

So much pressure, white pressure as heavy as Atlas’ burden, forces itself upon me, here inside the body I used to control. 

But I’ve had to take the back-seat and make room for more. 

One who says he’s as tall as the Chrysler building. 

Others are violent and malevolent and come in battalions, swarms, plagues. A phalanx of thick black goo, black like tar, and they swell with their hatred. They will break free and I will be broken, then. 

Soon. 

But until that day I will wait patiently. 

I will be a tiny voice in his ear; the One who lives within my skin, the One who is so righteous yet so guiltily and so corrupt, the One who would give up his own life all too quickly for the brothers.

I suppose they have become family now. They have their fights but they heal each other. They are forgiving. He gave them faith. He had faith in me. More than his own Father. More than the Father I idolised so much.

I wonder if he has made me indestructible. I wonder where I will pass on to if he does. I wonder for my own family and the stress the poor creature who sees himself as a coward puts upon himself like layers of bulky clothing and the unsure footing that is the future and it frightens me. But I cannot change the course of events; I am but a passenger in an old battered car. An old battered car that has been through many scrapes, but is always repaired, always driven again until the next crash, and never loved less. 

And so I must watch and wait and learn and one day I know I will be erased. My name will be lost to time and only his will fit my face he claims. I wondered if they would hear my screaming, my crying, my laughter. But no. I am no more than a vessel.

When I prayed, I did not pray for this. He is not what I expected. He did not come clad in silver robes with halo a-glowing around his scalp. His voice I could hear, but not understand, and yet I _knew_. This was my martyrdom. But they say God works in mysterious ways, and so I have come to accept this accursed blessing. 

My name was Jimmy Novak, and I am condemned to peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, um, first fic on this site so, yes. Tada? Thoughts are love :3 I find the character of Jimmy super interesting, so this is just me playing around, really. I always wonder if he is completely gone...


End file.
